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    dots Submission Name: Viewdots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 230/381/126
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 488
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 987

       Thinking a lot about memory, perspective, and reality these days.

    "Ah Light" is an old poem by poet Wendy Lee Spacek. She used to be girlunderglass on here.Here's a copy: http://saartha.deviantart.com/journal/Ah-Light-232789366
    The capsizing boat one was a deviantart poet, but for the life I me I don't remember which one. I know I had the poem in my favorites but it seems to be gone now.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The sun, molten
    up from the river,
    spilling everywhere

    more precisely:

    the world rolling
    in the warm shallows of space
    perpetually, gracelessly

    My favorite line of poetry
    deals with sun on the water
    "Ah light--
    moving westward down the Mississippi."

    Light as boats capsizing,
    the endless glint of it.

    the line is different
    (vertical, not westward)
    and the boats
    another poem entirely

    and isn't that always
    the case?

    Shot through with gold
    fog scraping the bark
    of the evergreens

    is also sun on the water
    if I choose it to be

    I have misunderstood
    every last moment
    on this planet but
    it is still


    Submitted on 2017-01-27 21:44:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this. I love the imagery. I love the way you play with the ideas of memory, understanding and perspective! I love the way you express our ability to select seeing things in various ways.

    "is also sun on the water
    if I choose it to be"

    And I love your ending lines:

    I have misunderstood
    every last moment
    on this planet but
    it is still


    My one critique is that I'm not in love with that opening stanza.

    The words "molten" and "dripping up" don't paint a picture for me that I can "see" or at least it doesn't ring true. It feels forced somehow and it distracts from the piece--for me, anyway. But maybe that is the point. Maybe it has to do with the perspective of the speaker and how he or she chooses to perceive the sun on the water at first. I'm probably supposed to feel it is inaccurate. Is that it?

    Anyway, I really, really enjoyed this read. It feels important. Like it says something that a lot of people need to hear!

    | Posted on 2017-02-18 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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