Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scars You Beautifuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    2.15 - 51/165/170
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScars You Beautifuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    To be placed within a position
    of the shadows.

    How doors close and thoughts
    project into the universe.
    Stars colliding with the darkness.
    Black holes engulfing other worlds.
    Space a time continuum.
    Destiny marked by sunlight
    and the distance between.
    Fate decided by the dividing cells.


    And even the shadows
    Are afraid of the dark.










    Submitted on 2017-02-06 21:14:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I find the whole thing thoroughly thoughtful:

    How doors close and thoughts
    project into the universe.

    Critically: The above 2 lines are pretty spectacular, the physical abutting the spiritual...

    I don't know if you have achieved that throughout the poem. I'm not saying race and edit it... certainly there's plenty to be explored as it stands. I'm saying: consider it.

    Here:

    Destiny marked by little giggles.
    Fate decided by the dividing cells.

    you're placing something trivial beside something divine. That's great smithing of words. giggles gives me the shits. squiggles is equally mere, and rather thought provoking.

    To be placed within a position
    of the shadows.

    How doors close and thoughts
    project into the universe.
    Stars colliding with the darkness.
    Black holes engulfing other worlds.
    Space a time continuum.
    Destiny marked by little squiggles.
    Fate decided by the dividing cells.


    And even the shadows are
    Afraid of the dark.

    You have a brain. Decide for yourself.

    I applaud this effort. Best block of words I've seen from you. If you agree create another page and devote that to doodling, on this page remember your last work.

    Sincerely, awesome from you.
    | Posted on 2017-02-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201667

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    prison written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry