Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scars You Beautifuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 53/169/179
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1638
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScars You Beautifuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    To be placed within a position
    of the shadows.

    How doors close and thoughts
    project into the universe.
    Stars colliding with the darkness.
    Black holes engulfing other worlds.
    Space a time continuum.
    Destiny marked by sunlight
    and the distance between.
    Fate decided by the dividing cells.


    And even the shadows
    Are afraid of the dark.










    Submitted on 2017-02-06 21:14:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I find the whole thing thoroughly thoughtful:

    How doors close and thoughts
    project into the universe.

    Critically: The above 2 lines are pretty spectacular, the physical abutting the spiritual...

    I don't know if you have achieved that throughout the poem. I'm not saying race and edit it... certainly there's plenty to be explored as it stands. I'm saying: consider it.

    Here:

    Destiny marked by little giggles.
    Fate decided by the dividing cells.

    you're placing something trivial beside something divine. That's great smithing of words. giggles gives me the shits. squiggles is equally mere, and rather thought provoking.

    To be placed within a position
    of the shadows.

    How doors close and thoughts
    project into the universe.
    Stars colliding with the darkness.
    Black holes engulfing other worlds.
    Space a time continuum.
    Destiny marked by little squiggles.
    Fate decided by the dividing cells.


    And even the shadows are
    Afraid of the dark.

    You have a brain. Decide for yourself.

    I applaud this effort. Best block of words I've seen from you. If you agree create another page and devote that to doodling, on this page remember your last work.

    Sincerely, awesome from you.
    | Posted on 2017-02-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201667

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    burning confusion written by cornonthekob
    After a Dream written by KeeperOfLight
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Sadistic lust written by jjd
    Untitled - 12/12/2017 written by homeless
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Time Is Good written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleeping Giant written by MyPeriodical
    trish trillion written by Daniel Barlow
    Post Naturalism written by cornonthekob
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    coping mechanism written by cornonthekob
    rimbaudian reverie written by CrypticBard
    I Believed written by homeless
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Un Lugar Para Siempre written by SavedDragon
    Eyes written by homeless
    your truest people written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled - May 14, 2017 written by homeless
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Don't Tell Me You Love Me written by homeless

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry