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Atlas, enduring

Author: Daniel Barlow
Elite Ratio:    5.93 - 2138 /2109 /1700
Words: 49
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1931
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1746


Atlas Telamon

Atlas, enduring

                                        Veer violently. dissuade yourself vehement
                                        from any blundering effort toward compassion
                                        under the auspice of being rendered weightless


is that man removed               
of his office.               

Submitted on 2017-02-12 16:10:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I like the ways you took the myth of a man < or> , holding our Earth.
In a way the man should be burn up or float way, after all it is space.
The reading took the from of an message within words ; ( would have to take your word for it) those words did seem to fit the mold of Atlas .
I was a little lost within, I felt the need to get a dictionary ,

Over all I thought or the , split from style at the end , was a bit choppy.
And, although we might not agree, I thought it was fitting in" Rome."
| Posted on 2017-08-02 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]
  Liberation in SPITE of compassion--a burden in and of itself. Most could not bear the weight of such a thing.

Well done.

| Posted on 2017-04-18 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
  Veer violently. dissuade yourself vehemently.
from any blundering effort toward compassion
under the auspice of being rendered weightless


is that man removed
of his office.

--- I love the use of the periods, and the breaks, -- to reinforce this weightlessness -- and the repeating sounds are simply delicious -- the strong cutting V, and the hissing S -- to accent vehemence -- and the rolling r's in the thrid and fourth lines, ending in unyielding finality, so purposefully flat.

Beautifully done.
| Posted on 2017-02-15 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]
| Posted on 2017-02-12 00:00:00 | by thesunbird | [ Reply to This ]

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