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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Atlas, enduringdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.97 - 2130/2088/1617
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1010
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1746



    Description:
       Atlas Telamon


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAtlas, enduringdots
    -------------------------------------------




                                            Veer violently. dissuade yourself vehement
    ly.
                                            from any blundering effort toward compassion
                                            under the auspice of being rendered weightless

                                       heartbreak
              

    is that man removed               
    of his office.               






    Submitted on 2017-02-12 16:10:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the ways you took the myth of a man < or> , holding our Earth.
    In a way the man should be burn up or float way, after all it is space.
    The reading took the from of an message within words ; ( would have to take your word for it) those words did seem to fit the mold of Atlas .
    I was a little lost within, I felt the need to get a dictionary ,

    Over all I thought or the , split from style at the end , was a bit choppy.
    And, although we might not agree, I thought it was fitting in" Rome."
    Teika5
    | Posted on 2017-08-02 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Liberation in SPITE of compassion--a burden in and of itself. Most could not bear the weight of such a thing.

    Well done.

    | Posted on 2017-04-18 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      Veer violently. dissuade yourself vehemently.
    from any blundering effort toward compassion
    under the auspice of being rendered weightless

    heartbreak

    is that man removed
    of his office.

    --- I love the use of the periods, and the breaks, -- to reinforce this weightlessness -- and the repeating sounds are simply delicious -- the strong cutting V, and the hissing S -- to accent vehemence -- and the rolling r's in the thrid and fourth lines, ending in unyielding finality, so purposefully flat.

    Beautifully done.
    | Posted on 2017-02-15 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]
      
    | Posted on 2017-02-12 00:00:00 | by thesunbird | [ Reply to This ]


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