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    dots Submission Name: The Ant Doesn't Caredots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 318
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 951


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Ant Doesn't Caredots

    The ant doesn’t care if it’s Christmas.
    He mucks about in the crevices of our white tile
    Just as he would any other day.
    He doesn’t care that I miss two of my sons,
    Or worry about my friend who is a grieving the loss of her child.

    He isn’t impressed by the Christmas lights,
    Or green cakes with poinsettia decorations,
    Projectors of snowflakes on garage doors.

    He’s searching for a drop of water,
    Or a random grass seed the dog or I dragged in,
    That he can take back to his colony.

    He is immersed in his moment
    Without meditation
    Or concentration
    Or mindfulness

    Deepak Chopra didn’t have to tell him
    Or the Dali Lama
    Or Buddha
    Or Jesus.

    God isn’t in the carols or the church bells.
    God is in the struggle.

    Submitted on 2017-02-14 22:20:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Boom! and there it is, the raw truth of the matter.
    | Posted on 2017-03-29 00:00:00 | by WriteSomething | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the formatting, it becomes narrowed as the point is intensified.

    I like the focus of the cosmetic at the start, it's expertly contrasted with close up of an ant.

    I think the poem would be stronger if at the Deepak Chopra line you stated what it is D C et al didn't have to tell him. (generally)

    because there's a Christmas theme at the start. DC, DL, B, and JC for that matter -could probably give a fig about Xmas

    So, I'm not saying state it outright and ruin or weaken your great ending.... but state something, yeah?

    Btw, I know what the poem says and how great it is, I just think if you do that little thing you strengthen it.
    | Posted on 2017-02-15 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
    As always, i enjoy your work. It has a way of lightening my mood.
    - Jim
    | Posted on 2017-02-15 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]

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