Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desayuno Serenadedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: krs3332003
    Elite Ratio:    6.49 - 145/114/65
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1207
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 768



    Description:
       Memories are the best form of time travel.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesayuno Serenadedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Aurora peeks through
    quickly closing the curtain
    too tired to shine

    A lake of thoughts
    waves that drift and draw
    on memories, from long ago

    She was here, once
    content and beautiful
    a surge of cogitation

    The brilliant silence
    so the clock rewinds
    to melodious musings

    Flickering echoes
    from that sublime song
    our dance, our time

    It stirs the mind
    and pauses the heart
    that wondrous waltz

    And the wind begins
    whispering to return
    so as it should

    “Thank you”,
    breakfast arrives,
    and she walks away…

    2017 by Kelly R. Sullivan




    Submitted on 2017-02-19 11:24:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked the opening lines. The energy it takes to relive a memory drawn from the sun itself.
    Brings a new light to cloudy days and dark minds.
    The longing from this piece hit me from both sides.
    Needing to be inside the memory to live a life that has already passed.

    Great write 😁 thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2017-07-27 00:00:00 | by endlessgame23 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. it was a sweet piece to read. What it made me feel or what stirred, actually, was the mind blowing notion/fact that one's mind never stops producing pictures and stories like a never ending
    manufacturing company. It strikes me that it is so damn hard not to think or to abandon" the waves that drift and draw"

    I enjoyed the imagery and the subtle sleepless night that was portrayed. And you are right, memories are the best time travel one can hope to get, although I rather stick to the present, or doggedly attempt to do so, no offence intended, of course.


    Take care,


    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2017-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201678

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    ME written by jjd
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Benediction written by Daniel Barlow
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry