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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Short Piecesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WolfStar
    ASL Info:    26/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.85 - 119/130/46
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 537
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1177



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShort Piecesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Peanut Butter
    Most adults
    won’t eat peanut butter;
    it reminds them too much
    of how small a country
    childhood was.

    The Good
    I’m waiting for everyone
    to get tired of being angry
    so we can marvel equally
    at thoughtful sunrises in the east
    and starshine in bad people.

    Fix It?
    People are frantic
    to find a solution
    that doesn’t change anything.

    Choices
    I chafed because
    you took away my choices.
    Now I am my own pickpocket.

    New York City Subway
    It’s a kind of silent détente;
    if no one
    looks their neighbor in the eye,
    we all get out alive.

    Other People
    You can be a selfish bitch
    or an angry child in adult pants;
    either way
    you’re not stealing my compulsion
    to be kind to you.




    Submitted on 2017-02-23 13:32:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Peanut butter is good if we choose to share it with other people on a New York City subway rather than fix what may not be broken. Somehow all of this makes sense the moment that we step back and gain some perspective. ;)
    | Posted on 2017-02-28 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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