Description: RIP my David I will love til my last breath.
Only In My Dreams -------------------------------------------
I look for you within all the unfamiliar faces,
My neck snaps quickly to the possible sound of your voice.
When the time comes and the day is nearing a close
Virtually every night you are with me
In my dreams you are alive
In my dreams we are close again
In my dreams we talk
The nightmare only begins when I awaken,
My mind having the ability to distinguish fact from fiction
It all comes rushing back to me
The irregular heartbeat begins
My eyes bolt to the only place that will confirm such feelings
The sacred place where your remains rest...
You will never be among those unfamiliar faces
It will never be your voice I am hearing
If I am lucky you will forever be in my dreams...
Facing reality daily is that of a torturous task, nevertheless, I attempted to do this gracefully as you wouldn't want to see me sad
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN....
I am truly sorry for your loss. Searching for the face of a departed loved one is a crowd when you know they're not there is, I think, something that everybody who loses someone goes through; at least I know I did.
The honesty of this piece is it's main "selling point" to me. The agony and heartbreak are plain to see. That being said, as honest as it is, it doesn't flow well for me. I think you're missing a word in the first line as well. What exactly are you looking for? The word placement also seems a little off to me; "snaps quickly" instead of "quickly snaps" for instance. The 2nd line of the 4th stanza is passive and really messes up the flow as well.
I know it may seem like I'm picking this apart, but I do like the piece; I just think rewording it might make it better.