Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where the Blame Liesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WriteSomething
    Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 24/19/9
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 393
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere the Blame Liesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't blame you for taking something airy,
    so fairy, light and irresistible to destroy
    because that's what foolish men do, they grip
    these things so tightly in their hungry fingers
    and squeeze it into a tight, hard stone
    and then they open their hands
    and let it drop.

    I blame myself for lying still, dirty and small
    and allowing the ground to become my bed,
    the rain to become a comfort, and the feet
    of all the men following behind you
    to pound me into a well-traveled road,
    when I was meant to stir trees
    and scatter dandelion seeds.










    Submitted on 2017-04-06 03:21:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I blame myself for lying still, dirty and small
    and allowing the ground to become my bed,

    My GOD. These words are the words of EVERY woman. No matter how accomplished or evolved. I feel like at some point--at ONE point, at least-- we all say these words to ourselves. How sad for each and every one of us. How truly sad.

    when I was meant to stir trees
    and scatter dandelion seeds.

    Your work moves me.

    Thank you.
    | Posted on 2017-04-18 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      The problem is the blame never lies still anywhere, it likes to stir stuff up so it always moves around. :D Anyway, this is a good poem, the only problem I see is in the first stanza you say: "they grip these things" and then you go on "and squeeze it", you should either change things into thing or say squeeze them or something as it doesn't make sense as it is...
    | Posted on 2017-04-11 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      This would work exquisitely if there was a substance named blame that we paved our roads with. There's also this cartoon, which, likely about something completely different, would also make this poem relevant to the whole trump administration (I'm not sure how versed you are with american politics).

    explorepahistory.com/displayimage.php?imgId=1-2-1E97

    I find the last two verses particularly interesting because they could bode boons or banes.
    | Posted on 2017-04-11 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201749

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Linger written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Incubus written by monad
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    To written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry