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    dots Submission Name: dots

    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 2138/2101/1700
    Words: 35
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1422
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 831


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         .     this is how
              the cup gets shattered
              the skull fractured
              a pool of blood

              i didn't think
              there was any effort
              was insurmountable

              it all was

    Submitted on 2017-05-02 20:13:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sad state of affairs Daniel. I can relate. Things get heavy. And the only other thing to read right now is Atlus.

    Sometimes people lie prone though, to convince others they are dead, when they are really laying in wait to get back up into the fray you know?

    The girls got a big voice. Not bad looking either, to say the least:)

    So anyway... the first part has a Macbeth/Hamlet quality. I think Macbeth would fucking murder Hamlet, he'd be like you lily livered little snipe, you think "you've got it bad?" and also he'd ask Hamlet not to be so tough on people who commit regicide. It takes balls he'd say.

    But also he'd maybe be protective of him.

    I highly doubt the opening is any kind of reference to Shakespeare. But that's okay. You have the scull and the act of violence. It is of the quality and character of Shakespeares writing that it tends to lend itself to even modern situations.

    So there's something insurmountable, and there's some kind of violent act in the first part. And to be honest there's a lot of guilt. As if what's insurmountable is realising that your self isn't who you think it really is.

    I think that's Macbeths realisation towards the end. there's a part of him that's highly ambitious, and thinks he wants to kill his King. But at the end of the play what we realise is he IS a hero, a tragic one, and his failing is that he wants too much to be loved. All he wants is friends and good company, but his means to get those bar him from any enjoyment of them. He is only himself ultimately at the end when he casts fortune to the wind and rides out onto the battlefield to die well. He becomes himself again when he realises he can no longer look for those things which once brought him comfort. He has been "prone" to acts unbecoming of him.

    And so, this may seem farcical I suppose but i really don't mind looking at certain things through a lense of Shakespeare. I mean your poem is very open so I hope you don't mind.

    There is something tragic about it when all is said and done. The realisation. This is certainly not a light one. To be in the jaws of something greater than you. Perhaps the truth.

    I can relate.

    But the only offset I suppose is the girl in the vids strong voice. There is that too.

    I've tried to make something of insurmountable effort, because it can be efforts against you by others, or against yourself. It seems some deliberate phrasing.


    | Posted on 2017-07-10 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]

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