Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pronedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.98 - 2121/2079/1562
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 616
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1129



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPronedots
    -------------------------------------------


         .     this is how
              the cup gets shattered
              the skull fractured

              a pool of blood


              i didn't think
              there was any effort
              was insurmountable


         
              until

              it all was




    Submitted on 2017-05-02 20:13:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sad state of affairs Daniel. I can relate. Things get heavy. And the only other thing to read right now is Atlus.

    Sometimes people lie prone though, to convince others they are dead, when they are really laying in wait to get back up into the fray you know?

    The girls got a big voice. Not bad looking either, to say the least:)

    So anyway... the first part has a Macbeth/Hamlet quality. I think Macbeth would fucking murder Hamlet, he'd be like you lily livered little snipe, you think "you've got it bad?" and also he'd ask Hamlet not to be so tough on people who commit regicide. It takes balls he'd say.

    But also he'd maybe be protective of him.

    I highly doubt the opening is any kind of reference to Shakespeare. But that's okay. You have the scull and the act of violence. It is of the quality and character of Shakespeares writing that it tends to lend itself to even modern situations.

    So there's something insurmountable, and there's some kind of violent act in the first part. And to be honest there's a lot of guilt. As if what's insurmountable is realising that your self isn't who you think it really is.

    I think that's Macbeths realisation towards the end. there's a part of him that's highly ambitious, and thinks he wants to kill his King. But at the end of the play what we realise is he IS a hero, a tragic one, and his failing is that he wants too much to be loved. All he wants is friends and good company, but his means to get those bar him from any enjoyment of them. He is only himself ultimately at the end when he casts fortune to the wind and rides out onto the battlefield to die well. He becomes himself again when he realises he can no longer look for those things which once brought him comfort. He has been "prone" to acts unbecoming of him.

    And so, this may seem farcical I suppose but i really don't mind looking at certain things through a lense of Shakespeare. I mean your poem is very open so I hope you don't mind.

    There is something tragic about it when all is said and done. The realisation. This is certainly not a light one. To be in the jaws of something greater than you. Perhaps the truth.

    I can relate.

    But the only offset I suppose is the girl in the vids strong voice. There is that too.

    I've tried to make something of insurmountable effort, because it can be efforts against you by others, or against yourself. It seems some deliberate phrasing.

    Anyway.




    | Posted on 2017-07-10 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201781

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    prison written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Etiquette written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Shi written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry