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    dots Submission Name: One Chink of Lightdots

    Author: yesmole
    Elite Ratio:    3.4 - 6/11/6
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 469
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1017

       A slap in the face, the retreat to the Keep, and the epiphany.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Chink of Lightdots

    A slap in the face, nemesis following hubris,
    You are over confident, he warned
    And yeah, I was out teched, caught off guard,
    And I felt the touch of evil.

    But still, evil disguised behind the banal,
    And the perfect disguise, banality.
    It appears no threat
    But undermines all that is good.

    Leaving one disarmed, disoriented and powerless,
    The perfect victim.
    Driven inward to the last sanctuary
    To the Keep, to the last deep inner spring of delight.

    I relax, I look out over the marauders,
    And plan my revenge.
    And my revenge is a measure of my wound.
    I am a wounded tiger.

    I start to breath
    I am so grateful for the Keep
    It keeps me safe
    And enables me to start again.

    But I am shrived, I remember my fault,
    I was over confident, and was blind to my enemies,
    I have one chink of light
    That opens my eyes to reality.

    Submitted on 2017-05-04 19:01:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Nice style, it reads like an adventure story.

    | Posted on 2017-06-04 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed reading "One Chink of Light". It was a mix of castles, morality, and confession. It's interesting what can inspire us to write, isn't it?

    Sometimes, it is what we least expect that causes us harm - "evil disguised behind the banal"...and so we become exposed, or maybe even a victim. No one can see everything for what it truly is...

    ...and we all have our sanctuaries...our "keeps". The places where we retreat to when we become exposed or hurt...or just want a place to fall back to...somewhere to re-energize.

    I see only one minor thing that you might want to update: I believe you meant to say "breathe" and not "breath" (line 17).

    Thanks for sharing - and welcome to elite!


    | Posted on 2017-05-06 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]

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