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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Can't bear itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Olianna
    Elite Ratio:    5.36 - 148/111/22
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 345
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1327



    Description:
       this poem was written after i read a story of a boy and a girl, who fell in love and had a beautiful summer together...flowers, candles, love...but then he got into an accident and was in a come for 5 days, and died. I read her story at one webcite...and it inspired me to write this stream of consciousness...i felt her pain and i know she is still hurting, but i hope that she will heal from thy pain.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCan't bear itdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The emptiness inside me,
    My fingers are numb,
    I'm cold in the summer,
    I can't feel my heart.

    The memories break my heart,
    I treasure them,
    But they break my heart.
    It died with you.

    Walking down the isle of graves,
    Loved ones, friends, enemies
    All are here.
    And you my love.

    Sitting beside your picture,
    Putting flowers on your side,
    My tears water them,
    My hands treasure them.

    I hate that day,
    When the phone rang,
    And announced your death...
    I hate it!

    The nightmare of those days,
    I carry with me,
    Can't look into other's eyes,
    Can't make myself grow past it.

    Everyday reminds me of you,
    Every park - of your kisses,
    Every candle - of your love,
    Every night - of your death.

    I died with you,
    Living is a nightmare,
    Existing in this world,
    I can't bear more.

    I've cried all the tears,
    I buried my heart
    On that autumn day.
    My soul awaits you.

    Please, give me help,
    Make me want to live,
    I can't die every time
    I go to bed.





    Submitted on 2004-08-06 22:32:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the emotions just jumped at you! i really felt it. Me and u have a similiar writing style in that we both put alot of heart and emotion in it. I felt the womans loss as if were my own. Great job
    | Posted on 2004-08-07 00:00:00 | by Ang | [ Reply to This ]
      wow good poem. The woman's emotions in it really scream out towards me. I feel so much sympathy towards her. The part that stood out the most for me was,
    "Make me want to live,
    I can't die everytime
    I go to bed."

    Very sad ending, but well said. Nice job.
    Brooke
    | Posted on 2004-08-06 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]



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