Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Unwanted New Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 359
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 921



    Description:
       RIP David


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Unwanted New Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A barrage of images will soon flood my “on this day” news feed
    Old comments ever so memorializing this day those expressing deep condolences
    Their words are pure
    However, they fall on deaf ears
    Read by glazed eyes
    Life … what I had seen my life to be has drastically changed
    You were someone who was always going to be there
    Eventually we’d compromise on the main things and our friendship would remain
    Occasionally we’d make time to sit and reminisce
    I’d go to karaoke night to hear that amazing voice you were gifted with
    We’d hug say our love yous and part ways
    Knowing deep down we are there for the other no matter what
    Yet, none of this is possible
    For, a barrage of images will soon flood my “on this day” news feed
    ….
    My life, our life together whatever it may have been cannot be




    Submitted on 2017-06-03 23:03:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Your loved one is honored by your words and your heart that is so open in this one. I really liked the layers of reality described, the opposing planes of perspective, "on this day" representing the official voice, the media, ect. , then the voices of those in mourning and of yours your experiences, thoughts, and conclusions of it all. Very honest and accurate portrayal of what this exoerience is like.
    | Posted on 2017-06-08 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201802

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry