Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lampdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 230/384/131
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 261
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 285



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLampdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The delineation of you
    as the sun drifts
    redly into the field

    yes,
    in this yammering world
    there are still a few
    quiet spaces

    I wanted to be
    a lighthouse for you

    but look,
    you already glow.




    Submitted on 2017-06-15 00:21:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So, few words to tattoo an image of a ," Human Glow ". I get a feeling of love , like you were the admirer. And, yes it is a busy world to few moments to capture a meeting, they always say maybe we'll see you again, the feeling of wonder an awe then the next thing to do.. Teika5

    | Posted on 2017-07-09 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah... you know it's hard to express. I myself like a painterly quality, that may get in the way of what you are saying. So I don't speculate here.

    But suns drifting redly into fields,

    and the "yammering world"

    You know after sun it isn't so far in it's yammering from a "yellowing world"
    and then we have the shine of the lighthouse. If I was you writing it, (which I would never presume) I think I would be feeling these colours as central to my desire to write it.

    But there's also space and the only way something can glow. Not a hint of shade happily. Perhaps "redly" or "lighthouse", but neither word is oppressively solid.

    Specific title, an avoidance of anything inaccessible and I think you are right, you and the object, light and light. I don't presume to get creative with any kind of response it's just that yes that's exactly what I feel. And I like the economy of your words,and the economy of a lamp. You never get benal or draw attention to the perfunctory.

    There is a metaphor here, perhaps of love or excess of love; love discarded.

    So if you could, what poems would you place around this? Or rather if it was a poem on page 13, what would be on 14? It's certainly good enough to have a page.
    | Posted on 2017-07-02 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201809

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry