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    dots Submission Name: Lampdots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 230/385/134
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 396
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 285


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The delineation of you
    as the sun drifts
    redly into the field

    in this yammering world
    there are still a few
    quiet spaces

    I wanted to be
    a lighthouse for you

    but look,
    you already glow.

    Submitted on 2017-06-15 00:21:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      So, few words to tattoo an image of a ," Human Glow ". I get a feeling of love , like you were the admirer. And, yes it is a busy world to few moments to capture a meeting, they always say maybe we'll see you again, the feeling of wonder an awe then the next thing to do.. Teika5

    | Posted on 2017-07-09 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah... you know it's hard to express. I myself like a painterly quality, that may get in the way of what you are saying. So I don't speculate here.

    But suns drifting redly into fields,

    and the "yammering world"

    You know after sun it isn't so far in it's yammering from a "yellowing world"
    and then we have the shine of the lighthouse. If I was you writing it, (which I would never presume) I think I would be feeling these colours as central to my desire to write it.

    But there's also space and the only way something can glow. Not a hint of shade happily. Perhaps "redly" or "lighthouse", but neither word is oppressively solid.

    Specific title, an avoidance of anything inaccessible and I think you are right, you and the object, light and light. I don't presume to get creative with any kind of response it's just that yes that's exactly what I feel. And I like the economy of your words,and the economy of a lamp. You never get benal or draw attention to the perfunctory.

    There is a metaphor here, perhaps of love or excess of love; love discarded.

    So if you could, what poems would you place around this? Or rather if it was a poem on page 13, what would be on 14? It's certainly good enough to have a page.
    | Posted on 2017-07-02 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]

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