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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sex Addict.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poetic_tragedy6
    ASL Info:    25/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 114/155/74
    Words: 433
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2468



    Description:
       My first try at spoken word


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSex Addict.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    "But I love you"
    A phrase I have used a thousand times
    As I look into his brown eyes
    And see the disappointment there
    From all the knives I have used to
    Stab him in the back.
    Ripping him to shreds
    Betraying his trust time & time again
    How can I make him understand that I am the problem
    That I compulsively use men & sex as a means to an end
    That this deep, numb feeling that takes over my body
    I use their pleasure to cure my pain
    Faceless bodies with countless names
    That when asked why I do what I do
    I simply reply "Chalk it up to the game"
    How do I explain
    That I am sick & sex became my medicine
    That my self worth has dwindled down to nothing and this is the only way I feel alive
    How do I make him trust when all I do is tell countless lies
    That no one knows what runs through my mind
    And how this obsession has taken over my life
    That I am damaged goods
    Like trash piled on a curb
    Stinking & rotting in the hot sun
    You can smell my stink from miles away
    And still he wants to stay
    He says he loves me
    But I do not know about love
    I am screaming out for help
    I cannot control myself
    I am spiraling down and unlike an addict that simply stops the drug of choice
    Sex addiction is a disease without a voice
    How can something that is a part of normal life become something so twisted & sick
    And know what I try
    The damage I have inflicted on myself
    Is one wound I cannot lick
    Where is my light out of myself?
    How do I explain that my purity was tainted long ago
    And this life is all that I have come to known
    The perverse and sick reality of who I am and all the abuse
    Where do I go?
    Every step forward has ended up in a stumble and fall
    And every time I lose it all, I promise myself this time it will be different
    I build myself so high, just to tear myself down
    And what will I do when he no longer wants to be around?
    How many times will I hit bottom before the fall kills me?
    This is more than sex addiction
    This about life or death
    And every time I say
    "but I love you"
    I can't help but wonder
    How many chances do I have left?





    Submitted on 2017-06-19 11:03:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The piece of work took me by strom : with love mix with violence . It was a bit lengthy but as so it is when putting passion in words . I love it, it's so true that innocents is taken early and there is few to many moments to vent that out.
    | Posted on 2017-06-25 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]


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