Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: obstacles. barriers. some suchdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.98 - 2124/2080/1578
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 330
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1684



    Description:
       



         sometimes i feel like
         there's no great distance between us
         
         just that
         i'm further behind the glass


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsobstacles. barriers. some suchdots
    -------------------------------------------


















         like some mud coloured tea
         it's obvious needs some
         sugar in it










         songs like this they
         bust me up a bit.

         (they do).

         

         kettles will boil. pots
         will






         blacken.














                   i am not yet that guy you don't want to know.
                   but i am becoming him.







    Submitted on 2017-07-15 21:01:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I just tried to think of what to say on any of the poems you have up. Sometimes I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts if they were translated to something active, and perhaps that is why I find it difficult to articulate a response. Poetry is like this fucking beast. You anticipate it, understand its power like hot breath coming from an open mouth above your head, but you can't stop yourself from stepping in to the dark anyway. At least that's how I feel about it.

    The rawness of your work is difficult to get at in a conscious way, but as I've always said it gets at me in a subconscious way and I think that has a lot to do with your method. Your formatting. The poems wouldn't offer the same immediacy and words-between-the words effect if they were written another way. You're very good at creating a sense with format.

    The direct address and the formatting sort of make each poem like a conversation and even though (as reader) there's awareness I'm not on the receiving end of the conversation, there's an intimacy that makes it easy to place myself in the position of prepping myself for understanding.

    Not sure if that makes sense. I understand the sense behind this. The emotion. And the fragments of thought and the idea that we might always be working ourselves toward a person we aren't sure is quite what we'd like to see of ourselves felt very much like a mirror. I think you do this mirror-as-obscura very well. There's depth and mystery but also and always recognition. Authenticity.

    This comment feels very unhelpful.
    | Posted on 2017-08-22 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      misc misc
    | Posted on 2017-08-08 00:00:00 | by thesunbird | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201842

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Every..... written by jackz
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by ShyOne
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    prison written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Fasade written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Yes written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry