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    dots Submission Name: obstacles. barriers. some suchdots

    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.98 - 2124/2082/1579
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 381
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1684


         sometimes i feel like
         there's no great distance between us
         just that
         i'm further behind the glass

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsobstacles. barriers. some suchdots

         like some mud coloured tea
         it's obvious needs some
         sugar in it

         songs like this they
         bust me up a bit.

         (they do).


         kettles will boil. pots


                   i am not yet that guy you don't want to know.
                   but i am becoming him.

    Submitted on 2017-07-15 21:01:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I just tried to think of what to say on any of the poems you have up. Sometimes I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts if they were translated to something active, and perhaps that is why I find it difficult to articulate a response. Poetry is like this fucking beast. You anticipate it, understand its power like hot breath coming from an open mouth above your head, but you can't stop yourself from stepping in to the dark anyway. At least that's how I feel about it.

    The rawness of your work is difficult to get at in a conscious way, but as I've always said it gets at me in a subconscious way and I think that has a lot to do with your method. Your formatting. The poems wouldn't offer the same immediacy and words-between-the words effect if they were written another way. You're very good at creating a sense with format.

    The direct address and the formatting sort of make each poem like a conversation and even though (as reader) there's awareness I'm not on the receiving end of the conversation, there's an intimacy that makes it easy to place myself in the position of prepping myself for understanding.

    Not sure if that makes sense. I understand the sense behind this. The emotion. And the fragments of thought and the idea that we might always be working ourselves toward a person we aren't sure is quite what we'd like to see of ourselves felt very much like a mirror. I think you do this mirror-as-obscura very well. There's depth and mystery but also and always recognition. Authenticity.

    This comment feels very unhelpful.
    | Posted on 2017-08-22 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      misc misc
    | Posted on 2017-08-08 00:00:00 | by thesunbird | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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