Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ritual Hungerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: endlessgame23
    ASL Info:    25/f/The Endless Table
    Elite Ratio:    3.24 - 28/41/44
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 371
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 295



    Description:
       I really like to rework old nursery rhymes.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRitual Hungerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A tisket, a tasket
    a gangrene-yellow basket
    full of hearts from Lover's passed
    stolen from their caskets.

    I stopped them, I chopped them
    on the plate, I dropped them
    I savored the flavors of my feast
    satiating my ravenous inner beast




    Submitted on 2017-07-17 15:04:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Being critical of your own work is a valuable tool to have in your pocket. You could liken the practice to a builder who was constantly pulling out his measuring tape and his leveler but at the end he would have a flat surface and boards the same length. So, I smile at you getting your level out.
    | Posted on 2017-07-18 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      The last line is awful to the flow of the piece..
    | Posted on 2017-07-17 00:00:00 | by endlessgame23 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201845

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Push written by JanePlane
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Cover written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry