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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desert dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 329
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 809



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Desert dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish you would
    notice
    I am not around
    When you see me
    I see you
    When I am lost
    When I am found
    I'm reaching out, fingers twisted
    Trying to find a narrowly carved out place for me
    As it is
    I am still finding
    That the walls around me are closing
    That my fears of the earth breaking
    Or of being shattered by space
    Will tear into an empty atmosphere
    Leaving me behind or crushing the ones I love
    I may be the only one to notice
    I believe you, Fidelity
    What will you believe of me?
    I wish you would
    Speak
    I am not listening
    I hear you
    When I am speaking
    You are speaking
    When I am deaf
    When I understand





    Submitted on 2017-07-30 14:00:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      well, to be honest< I believe that the subject of ( the's and the sort of things that identify ) thats not really good poetry> though your style could use a bit more fore thought , Don't get me cross , i think your work is good in the sense it tells a story of a sort. I fallow this rule too, It helps charge the pile of words to speak other than the mundane.
    Teika5
    | Posted on 2017-08-25 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    201869

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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    January 10 07
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