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in this place black bread crumbs return perpendicular to the moon and its ocean weaving nets on the naked shores, sand exposed by the tide presses hard made up words to my shins, squeezing, as I balance on single-branch fence, bent under my weight. |
I like it , overall. The work has a story them , in an abstract way, though I do believe the pice is A little off topic . Meaning there is a lot of subject matter, And if your so inclined to see , there could be some other poems out of the type of subjects used, THe work ,<has good images> Teika5 | Posted on 2017-08-29 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ] | I think that this is good Yulia. | Seems like it's underpaved and each line so connected and essential to the next it's like you are stepping out from a cliff but still raised above the cliff. I loved it. these couple of lines are a great example: in this place black bread crumbs return perpendicular The 3 c's catch and collect each other. the short thump of black bread and then the catching of the b again with crumbs the similar work of the r's some you have something that's short and then elongated... I like the poem, it's describing something - i don't know what (and that's not essential) i just get the sense of something very special. good like a meteorite you picked up and kept for your own, this fragment. | Posted on 2017-08-04 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ] | |