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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: in Dardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 204
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 333



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsin Dardots
    -------------------------------------------


    in this place black bread crumbs
    return perpendicular
    to the moon and its ocean
    weaving nets
    on the naked shores, sand exposed
    by the tide presses hard
    made up words
    to my shins, squeezing,
    as I balance on single-branch fence,
    bent
    under my weight.




    Submitted on 2017-08-03 13:33:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it , overall. The work has a story them , in an abstract way, though I do believe the pice is A little off topic . Meaning there is a lot of subject matter, And if your so inclined to see , there could be some other poems out of the type of subjects used, THe work ,<has good images>
    Teika5
    | Posted on 2017-08-29 00:00:00 | by teika5 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that this is good Yulia.

    Seems like it's underpaved
    and each line so connected and essential to the next
    it's like you are stepping out from a cliff but still raised above the cliff. I loved it.

    these couple of lines are a great example:

    in this place black bread crumbs
    return perpendicular

    The 3 c's catch and collect each other.
    the short thump of black bread and then the catching of the b again with crumbs

    the similar work of the r's some you have something that's short and then elongated...

    I like the poem, it's describing something - i don't know what (and that's not essential) i just get the sense of something very special.

    good like a meteorite you picked up and kept for your own, this fragment.
    | Posted on 2017-08-04 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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