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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Compartmentsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 84
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1048



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCompartmentsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I think I'll keep you
    Peddling with your last gusts of energy
    Eyes focused on the distance
    (cast away and translucent
    heavy with a passion
    that drips with blase envy)

    It wouldn't do to expose my heart
    but you can stay in the
    comparment and peddle along
    (they all eventually lose energy and momentum
    and give way to the chaos of the universe
    just as dust floats along in space)

    I watch them from time to time,
    just as I look at you now, a slight glace of the eye,
    soaking in the warmth of the four walls that hold you in
    and the two empty space you've fancied into guillotines

    Sweet tastes the sweat and the concentration,
    the adoration in your veins as it travels your entire
    body with each peddle and settles into your palms

    (I can sense you lose your energy and
    your hands and feet fatigue, but nonetheless
    I think I'll keep you)




    Submitted on 2017-09-25 00:04:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201951

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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