Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Compartmentsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 103
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1048



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCompartmentsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I think I'll keep you
    Peddling with your last gusts of energy
    Eyes focused on the distance
    (cast away and translucent
    heavy with a passion
    that drips with blase envy)

    It wouldn't do to expose my heart
    but you can stay in the
    comparment and peddle along
    (they all eventually lose energy and momentum
    and give way to the chaos of the universe
    just as dust floats along in space)

    I watch them from time to time,
    just as I look at you now, a slight glace of the eye,
    soaking in the warmth of the four walls that hold you in
    and the two empty space you've fancied into guillotines

    Sweet tastes the sweat and the concentration,
    the adoration in your veins as it travels your entire
    body with each peddle and settles into your palms

    (I can sense you lose your energy and
    your hands and feet fatigue, but nonetheless
    I think I'll keep you)




    Submitted on 2017-09-25 00:04:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    201951

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry