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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Night- timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.98 - 2126/2084/1587
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 449
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1785



    Description:
       Maria


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNight- timedots
    -------------------------------------------




         

                        Sometimes i am ruckus. a raucous discussion;
                        the sun disappearing over the hill,
                        the pull of where i wanna be




                        and then - it's just structure, every billionth
                        candle-power. Extinguished. this bose
                        speaker basing


                                                                          almost human




    Submitted on 2017-10-02 14:38:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wolfwatching should also agree that it’s a show-er too. Lol.
    I liked this because it took the reader to different points. Sometimes I am ruckus is extremely identifiable with everybody who reads it. It pulls the reader in and creates a feeling of “me too.” Perception of course, but it grabs you and pulls you into the poem. Of where I wanna be is a confession to the thoughts lost into the sunset over the hill although you can imagine what ever because it’s vague. It means more to the writer than the reader. Almost like a side note. This Bose speaker basing brings just that to mind. A great BOSE speaker just pumping the bass. For me I would write this Logitech speaker gassing......lol. Anywho, it’s all you. Good write. Oh and billionth candle power hits a little too close to home so I will just leave it at good write.
    | Posted on 2018-02-15 00:00:00 | by Chelebel | [ Reply to This ]
      So I hate to be this guy, but I want to just show you a line or two from one of my poems as I think it's oddly mirroring something here, I've had a lot of sun imagery, and have been floating round Lugh of the long hand, an Irish figure of myth synonomous with the sun. he stays outside Chu Chullainns tent while the warrior sleeps, fending off his enemies to give him respite.

    My poem ends with a line very much like yours only the opposite:

    "And now and now and now,
    Lugh waits
    For the shadow of a shout upon th hill.
    He seeks in the eye of the sun,
    That parley which was never arranged,
    A Bargain which may never be broken;
    The growing doubt of the sun coming up the hill"




    I don;t know, , for obvious reasons Im attracted to:

    Sometimes i am ruckus. a raucous discussion;
    the sun disappearing over the hill,
    the pull of where i wanna be



    To me it seems like we become our own myth, and the story we tell ourselves is what can drive us, and yet we can be so wrong. It's always sometimes. Its hard to remain focused.

    candle-power is pretty brilliant. So much more than the rather crude "star-power", candle--power is more intimate and fragile. Human.



    When i see a word like bose it makes me remember that I need to be a little more adventurous with my vocabulary.

    So if this is the meaning:

    bose. n. "to seek for hollows underground by ramming the ground and observing the vibrations," 1929, ultimately from Scottish word boss "hollow, empty" (1510s), earlier a noun meaning "small cask, wine flask" (late 14c.)

    I like it, because like most words it has that bit of irony to it, and I especially like it as vibrating or diggin within oneself, and perhaps even drinking.

    It might chime with that song too. Personally im trying to stop drinking, and it's not as easy as I imagined. You really need to get some other vice to fill it up.

    Its harder to get that raucous discussion going. Certainly.

    I'm not sure Daniel as I know this could be something spurred by the music here. I do enjoy it though. It's an interesting one to read into. Though I've held off making much of a comment on it because I thought it needed a little gestation. (if thats an apt word). It empties out at the end, or comes back to something. I can't tell right now. But its a grower.

    | Posted on 2017-10-27 00:00:00 | by Wolfwatching | [ Reply to This ]
      how i can relate! this restlessness, and how we surrender our humanity, it seems, to 'the pull of where we wanna be', remaining amongst 'every billionth candle-power. Extinguished.'

    I love how you've given the 'just sructure', the carcas that I am free to populate

    I won't even mention the ruckus - raucous --discussion ---... bose --basing -- almost -- billionth -- extinguished --this

    pure delight
    | Posted on 2017-10-10 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]


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    201970

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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