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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Plant-Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: leper messiah
    ASL Info:    21~f~New England
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 197/249/38
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 897
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 726



    Description:
       i'm so fed up with this stupid idiotic guy...this was written angrily a few moments ago, not even for any real reason...i'm just sick of him. i wish i didn't let him get to know me as well as he thinks he does. he's a royal pain in my skinny ass...and he doesn't even realize, being so thick, half the time that i'm trying to not even listen to him. so this is how i feel about him now. heh heh...cruel, no??? latah~april


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlant-Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'd wish you into
    a plant if I could
    because you're not worth
    being the person you wear...
    So you could be useful
    make air, breath and
    Blue skies
    Poison you with my exhales
    the carbon dioxide meeting
    you as if you're still that person
    [poisonous nectar freeze,
    in scrutinizing laughter]
    And i wouldn't have to hear
    your self-preserving sermons
    of that bullshit conceit
    you are 100% recycled of...
    Because if you ever endeavored
    to talk back,
    As plant owners sweettalk theirs
    I'd squash you
    with my big green Doc Marten
    And you'd be toast.




    Submitted on 2004-08-07 01:19:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is an awesome raw piece of anger expressed here.. it's awesome. each word and phrase and image so emotionally loaded that there isnt a thing that i'd want to change ..

    I recognise the thought and the plant image is hitting it right in the socket. I had a feeling in some joy, a smirk in that stomping towards the end, . .might just be myself reflecting there .. but either way it was awesome and spontaneous ..yeah

    thanks ..
    much gnome surr
    Christian
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by x-ianhoyskolt | [ Reply to This ]
      oh aprillela ! this is a favorite right here! such perfectly compact anger put forth so powerfully...the imagery is impeccable, and i like that the last line is "toast" instead of a salad reference that goes witht he plant theme, it shakes things up, and damn girl, thats what youre good at! all love, cait <3
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by PhotoNegative | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome curse poem!

    Poison you with my exhales

    favorite. i love the mixed up rhyme scheme and the line breaks are great... you got green doc's?
    | Posted on 2004-08-15 00:00:00 | by murf | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with Sandburg that the ending might work better with a salad reference rather than toast... i love the line "because you're not worth/being the person you wear..." it sort of reminds me of a poem i wrote about my cat wearing a dogsuit! anyway, good outlet for your apparent disgust of this person.
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      i LOVE the attitude in this poem. now THIS is angry poetry that works.. cause despite the fact that it's to the point, it's still subtle in that it's very controlled. it's not like you'd be shouting it but rather.. very calmly telling this person to f uck off.. and that always stings more than someone really going off on ya..

    great attention to detail.. down to the green Doc Marten.. (and the fact that they're doc martens is just an added bonus )

    the only line that jarred was "you are 100% recylced of..." because of the last word.. but that really is minor..

    it kinda reminds me of a poem that i read by someone else.. only in the sentiment not so much the writing style... let me see if i can dig it up cause i think you'd like it...nope.. she took it down.. but i have it saved on my pc at home.. will get it for you when i get home
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this is... a powerful piece. Very angry, but true. Cause plants really don't do those bad things... but they bring the oxygen. So maybe it can't be that bad. Excellent line:

    [poisonous nectar freeze,
    in scrutinizing laughter]

    Every plant needs to defend itself - but yes, you can always win with it. But is it so important?
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh. Remind me not to ever piss you off. I'm guessing that you're talking about that dude from before. I think it'd be pretty funny if you gave it to him to read and see what happens. I think that'd be a riot.

    I was digging the whole plant thing. Don't you think boots would do a better job though? Cuz, after all, the equation goes: girls+boots=major hottness. *bites knuckle*
    ~Aaron
    | Posted on 2004-08-07 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the feel of this, the anger, nothing held back. The only thing that detracted was the little cliché at the end, toast. Maybe he'd make a good salad though?
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-08-07 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Hahaha! I love it. One typo, though: 'recycled'… I'm so glad I've found your stuff. It's fresh. I think you've 'got something', definitely. Becky
    | Posted on 2004-08-21 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]


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