Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: winners circledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShyOne
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 31/14/25
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Spoof/Serious
    Total Views: 799
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswinners circledots
    -------------------------------------------


    somewhere on the new horizon
    i am seen more clearly
    when the proof is in my hand
    and the truth is truly near me

    i'm watching the fire in my head
    all the smoke billows again
    smothered once
    woke up twice
    another dreamless
    winters night

    if i measure all the motions
    will you move me with your eyes
    until we're both below the notion
    of another damned surprise
    the vision never leaves me
    and the path is mostly paved
    so i'm walking past the finish line
    acting well behaved




    Submitted on 2017-12-03 22:01:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      And how behaved would "well-behaved" be? This post doesn't remind me of a single unified thought; it resembles a collection of loosely related thoughts that are under one umbrella likes shops in a mall. It feels both frustrated and focused at the same moment. That is a uniquely challenging position to be in.
    | Posted on 2019-07-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      The first words "Somewhere on the new horizon I am seen more clearly" These are honest, crisp and cleanly written words. They spoke to my soul. from there I could not grasp the direction of the poem or its meaning. I was glad to see the words "finish line because they reminded me of the title winners circle, which I thought was a good title and it is what captured my attention. Some of the words were powerful. I felt like I was in a labyrinth while I was reading the poem searching for threads that would connect all of the words giving the poem identity, meaning, and a foundation. I read it at least three times the words did not for me, paint any clear point, storyline, a picture of some kind of suffering, love is given or unrequited. What is the poem about? Now I need to know.
    | Posted on 2018-01-04 00:00:00 | by giftedgrape | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    202014

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Orange written by saartha
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    Hurt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    Ardent written by saartha
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Shading written by saartha
    Eyes written by homeless
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Variety written by saartha
    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    After a Dream written by KeeperOfLight
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Untitled - May 14, 2017 written by homeless
    More written by homeless
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Untitled 2 written by homeless
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    X written by homeless
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Don't Tell Me You Love Me written by homeless
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry