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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: winners circledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShyOne
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 31/13/25
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Spoof/Serious
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswinners circledots
    -------------------------------------------


    somewhere on the new horizon
    i am seen more clearly
    when the proof is in my hand
    and the truth is truly near me

    i'm watching the fire in my head
    all the smoke billows again
    smothered once
    woke up twice
    another dreamless
    winters night

    if i measure all the motions
    will you move me with your eyes
    until we're both below the notion
    of another damned surprise
    the vision never leaves me
    and the path is mostly paved
    so i'm walking past the finish line
    acting well behaved




    Submitted on 2017-12-03 22:01:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The first words "Somewhere on the new horizon I am seen more clearly" These are honest, crisp and cleanly written words. They spoke to my soul. from there I could not grasp the direction of the poem or its meaning. I was glad to see the words "finish line because they reminded me of the title winners circle, which I thought was a good title and it is what captured my attention. Some of the words were powerful. I felt like I was in a labyrinth while I was reading the poem searching for threads that would connect all of the words giving the poem identity, meaning, and a foundation. I read it at least three times the words did not for me, paint any clear point, storyline, a picture of some kind of suffering, love is given or unrequited. What is the poem about? Now I need to know.
    | Posted on 2018-01-04 00:00:00 | by giftedgrape | [ Reply to This ]


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