Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: winners circledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShyOne
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 31/13/25
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Spoof/Serious
    Total Views: 475
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswinners circledots
    -------------------------------------------


    somewhere on the new horizon
    i am seen more clearly
    when the proof is in my hand
    and the truth is truly near me

    i'm watching the fire in my head
    all the smoke billows again
    smothered once
    woke up twice
    another dreamless
    winters night

    if i measure all the motions
    will you move me with your eyes
    until we're both below the notion
    of another damned surprise
    the vision never leaves me
    and the path is mostly paved
    so i'm walking past the finish line
    acting well behaved




    Submitted on 2017-12-03 22:01:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The first words "Somewhere on the new horizon I am seen more clearly" These are honest, crisp and cleanly written words. They spoke to my soul. from there I could not grasp the direction of the poem or its meaning. I was glad to see the words "finish line because they reminded me of the title winners circle, which I thought was a good title and it is what captured my attention. Some of the words were powerful. I felt like I was in a labyrinth while I was reading the poem searching for threads that would connect all of the words giving the poem identity, meaning, and a foundation. I read it at least three times the words did not for me, paint any clear point, storyline, a picture of some kind of suffering, love is given or unrequited. What is the poem about? Now I need to know.
    | Posted on 2018-01-04 00:00:00 | by giftedgrape | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    202014

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Linger written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th of July written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry