Where? by ParanoidParadox

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Where? dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	ParanoidParadox
ASL Info:	22/m/Canada
Elite Ratio:	3.31 - 89/92/41
Words:	90

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	253
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	667

Description:

Where?

-------------------------------------------

Every moment blurred
Time's arrow spirals forward
Feet failing to find footing
Hands shaking from the faltered grip

Where are we now?
Only just begun
To comprehend
The places we have been

These trees bear no fruit
These roads end in cliffs
This voice can only whisper
This wind silences all

The past weighs heavy
Lessons still unlearned
Lessons not understood
It's time to let go

Where are we now?
Time's arrow spirals forward
These roads end in cliffs
It's time to let go.

Submitted on 2018-01-22 21:50:51 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Excellent work. The description of the lost state is given meticulously.
Feet failing to find footing
Hands shaking from the faltered grip
Beautiful lines, explains the oblivious state of mind which is incomprehensible.
| Posted on 2018-02-07 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]
Great work, i liked the repetition, with spiral arrow. How it appears both in the beginning, and end. One does get a feeling of being lost, hence the title, I presume.the only advice i can lend is perhaps in paragraph 2, BEGUN, feels wrong, not sure why , i think i wanted it to be beginning. Anyway excellent job.
H.Price
| Posted on 2018-01-28 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

202066

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Giving written by jjd
Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
One Thing written by Wolfwatching
Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
Wish written by Daniel Barlow
Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
Song written by Daniel Barlow
Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
I will call out your name written by RisingSon
Wasps written by Wolfwatching
To written by SavedDragon
Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
Bond written by saartha
Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
Summer written by layDsayD
Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
untitled written by Chelebel
Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
Push written by JanePlane
In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
Date night written by expiring_touch
Trails written by Daniel Barlow
Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.