Where? by ParanoidParadox

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Submission Name: Where? dots

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Author:	ParanoidParadox
ASL Info:	22/m/Canada
Elite Ratio:	3.31 - 89/92/41
Words:	90

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	313
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	667

Description:

Where?

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Every moment blurred
Time's arrow spirals forward
Feet failing to find footing
Hands shaking from the faltered grip

Where are we now?
Only just begun
To comprehend
The places we have been

These trees bear no fruit
These roads end in cliffs
This voice can only whisper
This wind silences all

The past weighs heavy
Lessons still unlearned
Lessons not understood
It's time to let go

Where are we now?
Time's arrow spirals forward
These roads end in cliffs
It's time to let go.

Submitted on 2018-01-22 21:50:51 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
Excellent work. The description of the lost state is given meticulously.
Feet failing to find footing
Hands shaking from the faltered grip
Beautiful lines, explains the oblivious state of mind which is incomprehensible.
| Posted on 2018-02-07 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]
Great work, i liked the repetition, with spiral arrow. How it appears both in the beginning, and end. One does get a feeling of being lost, hence the title, I presume.the only advice i can lend is perhaps in paragraph 2, BEGUN, feels wrong, not sure why , i think i wanted it to be beginning. Anyway excellent job.
H.Price
| Posted on 2018-01-28 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.