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    dots Submission Name: Where?dots

    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    22/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.31 - 89/92/41
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 127
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 667


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    Every moment blurred
    Time's arrow spirals forward
    Feet failing to find footing
    Hands shaking from the faltered grip

    Where are we now?
    Only just begun
    To comprehend
    The places we have been

    These trees bear no fruit
    These roads end in cliffs
    This voice can only whisper
    This wind silences all

    The past weighs heavy
    Lessons still unlearned
    Lessons not understood
    It's time to let go

    Where are we now?
    Time's arrow spirals forward
    These roads end in cliffs
    It's time to let go.

    Submitted on 2018-01-22 21:50:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent work. The description of the lost state is given meticulously.
    Feet failing to find footing
    Hands shaking from the faltered grip
    Beautiful lines, explains the oblivious state of mind which is incomprehensible.
    | Posted on 2018-02-07 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]
      Great work, i liked the repetition, with spiral arrow. How it appears both in the beginning, and end. One does get a feeling of being lost, hence the title, I presume.the only advice i can lend is perhaps in paragraph 2, BEGUN, feels wrong, not sure why , i think i wanted it to be beginning. Anyway excellent job.
    | Posted on 2018-01-28 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]

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