Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Transparent dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.97 - 2130/2088/1617
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 664
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1281



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTransparent dots
    -------------------------------------------




                                       Sometimes I wonder
                                       what's the use of heart. and worth?






         If I might only achieve a similar result
         filling up










         how many jars

         

         with how much
         sand





    Submitted on 2018-04-06 00:31:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoy this type of writing, very polished, with the metaphor well-thought out and yet not forced. My only other comment would maybe to revise the opening line? In comparison to the rest, it seems very mundane and over-used.
    | Posted on 2018-05-25 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    202114

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Rezar por la naturaleza written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    To Be written by MyPeriodical
    Behest [krb + drb] written by Daniel Barlow
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    Untitled written by _winky_
    Release written by robbie
    written by Daniel Barlow
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Gone written by MyPeriodical
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    Leyenda de Un Maldito Cobarde written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry