Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chelebel
    Elite Ratio:    2.2 - 53/167/175
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 410
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 402



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    “ cause you make it easy
    Lovin up on you
    Make it easy
    With every little thing you
    Do. “




    If only I could make a man really feel this way. But whatever
    I guess I’m not that girl. I guess that’s why country music stars are filling my head up with this nonsense. A false reality. So do I turn my radio off?





    Submitted on 2018-04-11 02:17:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Poetry.... I find that some of the best advances in poetry occur when life has really smacked you in the face with life and what you've been writing seems inadequate.

    then you kind of say to yourself. the situation.

    alright, mother fucker, now we are going to go at it

    so i appreciated the use of the quotes and the rather succinct but economical (suggesting efficiency) way you approached this.

    The naive/dreamy 'If only' countered so quickly and cruelly by 'But whatever'

    I think everything works in this poem, and I like the balance of the question at the end. It kind of serves as an example that as people we are odd creatures, able to intellectualize while being weighed down by some hefty emotional states. In this poem you feel for the speaker, you wonder how they will cope, what they will do and I very much admire/appreciate those kind of wanderings/possibilities in such a short piece and just that positioning of two things that seem quite at odds ( the heart and the mind ). Seems as if, one way or another, nature provides. Good poetry from you.
    | Posted on 2018-04-11 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    202118

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Promise written by annie0888

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry