Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Break Up

Author: WriteSomething
Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 24 /23 /9
Words: 44
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1302
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 368


Break Up

You will be the No One Special,
rarely mentioned in my story,
details dulled to "don't remember",
brushed off with a shrug of shoulder.
History will write us Strangers
"Us" divided, "Ours" destroyed
leaving "Me" the single factor
because the "You" is void.

Submitted on 2018-04-13 07:07:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  There is a mechanical sense to how this poem unfurls. It is a logical execution twofold: in how it flows and in how it eliminates the "you".

The brevity of this piece also gives each syllable an extra kind of weight. It brings harshness to otherwise soft syllables. The drumming Ds and so on.
| Posted on 2019-08-21 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]
  The poem depicts very well the pathetic situation. I really liked the usage of words like "Us" divided, "Ours" destroyed. The words portray the anguish and the anger.
| Posted on 2018-07-18 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. I can really relate to this one. I love your concise word choices and the brevity of the piece. Very nicely done. Just somebody that you used to know. . .
| Posted on 2018-07-14 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?