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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bluesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 180/110/56
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 355
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 837



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBluesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    your stolen moment lept into mine
    with a twist and a sigh;
    a hungry eye glance with regret on your lips
    sways and slips sashayed on my hips
    sweet as the sweat that dries as it drips
    down your satin-soft skin reaching your grip
    around the blades of my shoulder and my fingertips
    stolen moments like this that I’m terrified I’ll miss.

    slow beating hearts make these moments slow down,
    you spin me around and around and around
    away from all sound, toward a stillness you found
    that you’re anchored to now, concaved to the ground;
    strange rhythms inbound, impound to confound
    our language in air, and so we slow down--

    we stop for a moment, our bearings hellbound
    the song is in outro, our moment outbound




    Submitted on 2018-12-14 13:37:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's been a long time since I have laid eyes on a romantic poem such as this. Your wording is refreshing, only I wish the composition were less like a story and more like a prose - only this is taste. Much appreciation; passion is scarce among a society that only seeks predetermination. For this, I, myself, am guilty. Thank you for sharing.
    | Posted on 2019-03-11 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      You have good expression of your passion. However, you work way too hard to make rhymes. That detracts. Also you should avoid inversions to get end rhymes. That breaks the flow.
    | Posted on 2018-12-24 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


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