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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Behest dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.95 - 2136/2098/1674
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2116



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBehest dots
    -------------------------------------------



                                                 look up...
              just now your mouth is too beautiful. your words are too
              important to me for you to mumble.



              in your eyes. and in my eyes.

         exists something communicable that is not
         normally communicable.











         it's been a while...

         yeah, i know. i'm sorry, my dollar doesn't go that
         far.


         




                                                                     whenever...

         it was a choice between you and food it was most times
         i took being hungry





    Submitted on 2018-12-15 00:54:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      you're one for yearning Daniel and I like that. I tend to yearn for high windswept places with little or no dust - but enough about me...

    i am minded of a movie scene or movie poster with greta garbot or similar: all gasping and arched, aching neck and you the one who will take whatever pearls drip from those lips. and this distils that for me.

    not one for formatting as you know mate, because in my simple way, i'm more comfortable with it all laid out janet and john. but that's me and you're you and this is you all over.

    i've added something in parentheses for you to consider and i hope this finds you well Pilgrim.


    just now your mouth is too beautiful. your words are too
    important to me for you to mumble.
    (so please be quiet just-for-now...)?

    in your eyes. and in my eyes.
    exists something communicable that is not
    normally communicable.

    it's been a while...
    yeah, i know. i'm sorry, my dollar doesn't go that
    far.

    whenever...
    it was a choice between you and food, it was most times
    i took (to) being hungry
    | Posted on 2019-03-12 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]


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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    202260

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
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