Description: Just needed to get it on paper sorry for the lack of punctuation 🤷♀️
Thinking too much -------------------------------------------
I have learned that I
I am fucking crazy
I have never truly thought
But then again I think too much
Just too much
That I must be fucking crazy
And every little thought
Is that a rolling snowball of hot
Lead against my ears
As they burn with screams
That I can not decipher
And try as I might
I can not ignore them
So I fight with my head
Slap punch and scratch at the numbers
And volume of voices
I’m trying to hurt them
So maybe they will leave me alone
I am so fucking crazy
That I thought this could save me
But then again
I think too damn much
Well, my friend this doesn't only happen to you. I have learnt that to fight it is just a waste of time an energy. The best thing to do appears to be to let thoughts be and ignore them.
If you concentrate too much on one thought and you get upset by it then you somehow empower that particular idea and it gets stuck.
I have been trying meditation to deal with this issue and it has yielded good results. It's not something on which you will succeed right away for it is a hard thing to do, meditation I mean. If you ever try it you have to be willing to feel frustrated but the key is not to give up. I have been doing it for a few years and I still find my self getting distracted and lost by random thoughts or the voices you happen to mention in your piece.
When I started meditating I used some you-tube videos just to learn how to do it or to have examples. I have also attended some meditations sessions in my town.
A good book to be read is "The power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. You can find it in PDF on the internet, if you are interested. I was going to offer it to you but I suddenly remember that I read it in Spanish. My psychologist recommended it to me. It is, in fact, the book that got me started on all this.
I have also read other books on the subject. I have found out that reading self - help books helps a lot. One can actually change one's perception of the world, as well as behavioural patterns by doing so.
As for some suggestions regarding your write, I would only recommend to alter the line breaks concerning line 1 and 2 so as to make them flow better.