The bold Helvetica
Still lives on in my mind
As the darkness consumes me
Into a blindness exhausting of my caterer
This body withstands the italic Georgia of my soul
Where I had become of graduation there
Because all I knew originated in the water
That our land once encased
That deeply penetrating ocean has dried to its salty face
And the bamboo you washed up as
Became the weapon of my enemy in a race I dare not part take in.
The read is a bit , confused. To me there is alot going on here and the direction is unclear. BUt, the wordage is good to the point, i believe that if you could take a few breaths and space the stanzas , the story line will emerage and you could expand to your liken.
Sometimes i too, miss the point by rushing in exciment, it's then when the adudance is missing what we are trying to convay .
I like the mythical ways you have woven, your fustrating part, , i want no part of it, the Blaklash.