Essence by TheStillSilence

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Submission Name: Essence dots

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Author:	TheStillSilence
ASL Info:	20/F/Out in Outer Space
Elite Ratio:	4.97 - 180/113/59
Words:	1

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	277
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	0

Description:

Essence

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Submitted on 2019-04-22 20:54:54 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I really enjoyed this.. mostly.

You almost lost me with how long the beginning is. Maybe that was your point? Personally, I think the poem would be improved by condensing the lead up to "I want to know more"

...everything beyond that point is Brilliant. I particularly love the way you incorporate specific scientific language. And your last line is beautifully impactful.

Keep up the good work!
~Doh
| Posted on 2019-04-25 00:00:00 | by rememberplaydoh | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
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3. How did it make you feel?
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5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

202337

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.