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Two blows, smoking and pornography, following the warfare of dialysis, made me sick, vomiting into the sink.

I am fighting back, surprisingly, and seeing one assault, I see others. The red meat on the bar-b-que, the poker machines, the alcohol, the hatred of giftedness, all matched by my strength.

Where to go next?

Should I follow the way of trance? Should I enter the unknown with my eyes closed? Can I become a dealer in the unknown, without freaking out?

I don't know, so I keep my eyes open. I cross at the lights, I drink my spinach and celery juice, I don't know what is coming next, I give up the temptation to know what next.

Deliver me from temptation I pray, deliver me breaths of delight, the cool air after rain. Come to know myself, come to know my unknown self, feels good getting to know you.