(No Spam mail)
5.95 - 2137/2098/1688
No vote yet.
a patricia poem
standing in the living room all day with my headphones on,
vibing to the music. vibing to you.
i swear, you could have knocked on my door,
i might never have heard you
Submitted on 2019-05-26 02:33:20
Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Rate This Submission
2: I dunno...
4: Pretty cool
||| Comments |||
this is what i would do to start with, in order to make it more personal:
standing in MY living room with THE headphones on...
vibing to the music (and) vibing to you
i swear, HAD you knocked on my door (gives patricia more impact (which i have to assume she has/has had?)) and it also suggests more yearning from your perspective?
fwiw i like the idea that you are enjoying your music whilst missing a knock on the door - and there is a tension there that could do with a coat of looking at.
i trust that you are well?
| Posted on 2019-07-06 00:00:00 | by
Reply to This
Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Just a fantasy
The Phoenetians and Us
Don't Tell Me You Love Me
Untitled - 12/12/2017
Un Lugar Para Siempre
Wisp of You
Untitled: June 24, 2018
Confessions and shit...
Summer of Peaches
After a Dream
No More Damn Love Poems
Jar (working title)
The Forgotten Umbrella
Blinded by Sight
One Time Is Good
Untitled - May 14, 2017
Enter your search terms
Submit search form
January 10 07
I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my
[ Smaller ]
[ Bigger ]