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    dots Submission Name: From Fat to Thindots

    Author: Fadeintoreality
    Elite Ratio:    1.94 - 33/115/65
    Words: 375
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Misc
    Total Views: 257
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2255


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    dotsFrom Fat to Thindots

    "From Fat to Thin"
    Slam Poetry - by Deanna

    When I was fat,
    I wasn't seen.
    I was glanced over like a new person in a room full of friends,
    to them I blend in with the walls
    melting into my own existence.
    Glanced over like I was a penny on the ground, only picked up as a joke or to flip over for the next person to get "good luck".
    I used to swallow down the vomit after forcing myself to eat a single kernel of corn
    so I could tell myself I had eaten that day.
    Lying to myself in the process.
    Looking in the mirror for hours, comparing my body to the people on TV
    Wishing I was different.
    I was seen.
    Now that I've lost weight,
    I am seen.
    But is it the right way?
    I am now the good luck you pick up on the sidewalk
    now I am the five dollar bill you find when you need it most.
    But the problem is,
    Now I am seen.
    Seen for what my body looks like and not my mind.
    Seen for what your mind sees when you picture me without clothes on.
    Seeing me for what my body can do for you,
    Not for my thoughts.
    Not for my personality
    Not for who I am.
    Being seen isn't all it's cracked up to be,
    I see the vomit after I throw up
    to keep the body you enjoy seeing so much.
    I see the scale move drastically
    too far down.
    I see the food
    still on my plate
    ..two hours later,
    food that I refuse to eat because I'm
    "Just not hungry".
    I say this to myself,
    to no one
    lying to myself
    To you.
    But in reality
    I'm trying to stay in the view of people.
    Staying off the sidewalk and in the pockets of strangers instead of being walked on, or over.
    I am seen.
    when did I lose myself trying to find myself?
    In the pile of forgotten pennies,
    dropped on the street like they are worth nothing.
    But I AM worth something.
    I am seen now.
    But at what cost to myself?

    Submitted on 2019-10-08 03:04:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      As I was reading this I felt horrible. If this is your own experience, I hope that you find yourself again. Please take care of yourself and leave behind the people who don't care to see the true you. If they didn't have time for you when you were bigger, they don't deserve your time now.

    | Posted on 2020-01-24 00:00:00 | by TeslaKoyal | [ Reply to This ]

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