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    dots Submission Name: Betwixtdots

    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 2138/2102/1700
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 326
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1050


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              i don't know how to reckon
    the condition of feeling like i could
    never get enough of you
    against the position of feeling like i could
    never get enough of you.

    there is looking at someone                    loving them.

    there is this.                    

    the way a flame can choke while knowing
    nothing of breathing.

    Submitted on 2020-04-12 07:32:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the way (that) a flame can choke whil(st) knowing
    nothing of breathing. that is quite my kind of line: one that i have an opinion on.

    'the way that a flame can choke, whilst knowing nothing of breathing'

    that's a poem in its own right, you big girl...

    take sunday off.
    | Posted on 2020-10-11 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I love that full stop on the first and second line -

    i don't know how to reckon(pause)
    the condition of feeling like i could(pause)

    Like these lines are completely at ends with each other linguistically and work so well together in thought. You could have used reconcile instead of reckon but you didn't because the way these sentences stop you dead in your tracks works better for the point of the piece.

    There is looking at someone (there is unconditionally) loving them.

    Honestly, lovely
    | Posted on 2020-05-16 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]

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