"The Pettiness of Von Roathe", 2017 -------------------------------------------
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
"The Pettiness of Von Roathe"
We have gathered here today because
(A lot of y'all got me fucked up.)
Glad y'all set it off
Oxi Clean for stain removal
Feeling offended?
Wait. There's more
little bitty bitch
I make the world go round
Not plough shares
A giant middle finger
So pull your skirts down
I hope you get caught barefoot
around your kids playing
and out of nowhere
step on a LEGO.
I'll call those kids ugly if they are.
Underneath a surface are hate jokes.
"That Bitch thinks she's worthy."
Some coworker threw
My Drink In The Trash
And now everyone shall be thirsty
My memory is the finest
I'll never get Alzheimer's
The last word must be mine
See the "FUCK YOU" in my smile
See how life hands me lemons
and I squirt them in peoples eyes
Throw the napkins back at her
since they didn't give me enough fries
I'll wear a crown where ever we go
Even if I don't get my way
I'll be petty that entire day
"Since this bitch is watching my page"
I smile when someone else
goes off on her in rage
Stirring it up to make my day
Just sprinkling bitchy dust
Well..
I was wrong in that argument between us
But it was too late to stop so I proceeded.
Granted a scholarship to Hell.
Been Pro Petty from the get go
"If he keeps pulling off
my side of the bed covers
I swear I'm throwing
those shits out the window
and will refrain from
poking my booty on his back."
I'm the Petty Champ
From Clamp God Stock
Blocked. Blocked. Blocked.
I don't like that opinion on him
He can get blocked.
Why hoe?
For spite. Yes.
For malice. Yes.
For revenge. Yes.
For boredom. Yes.
For profitable gain. Yes.
And never too tired to be
Because throwing shade
is second language
and I slash spare tires too B
I'm not catching feelings
I'm catching flu like symptoms
getting sick of parasites.
Write me an apology letter
So I can grade it and send it back
My neighbors are being assholes
So I've decided to vacuum the ceiling
"He asked for my number gurl
so I gave it."
1-800-I'M-PETTY ASF
"Nope. I can't."
Unfollow. Unfollow. Unfollow.
Huffing and puffing coupon clipper
Like the rigid Instagram model
and angry internet men coddled
Confessions of dissent worshippers
I know it's mean
But I'm still pressing 'Send'
"What the hell is he wearing?"
Unfriend. Unfriend. Unfriend.
Not with regret, just with grins.
Being less self aware
In the irrational world, fenced in.
In reaching peak pettiness
Submission Name: "The Pettiness of Von Roathe", 2017
