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    dots Submission Name: "The Pettiness of Von Roathe", 2017dots

    Author: Rex Gold
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 334/139/211
    Words: 540
    Class/Type: Misc/Comedy
    Total Views: 211
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4295


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    dots"The Pettiness of Von Roathe", 2017dots


            "The Pettiness of Von Roathe"

    We have gathered here today because

         (A lot of y'all got me fucked up.)
                   Glad y'all set it off

      Oxi Clean for stain removal
            Feeling offended?
            Wait. There's more
              little bitty bitch

       I make the world go round
           Not plough shares
         A giant middle finger
       So pull your skirts down

    I hope you get caught barefoot
    around your kids playing
    and out of nowhere 
    step on a LEGO.
    I'll call those kids ugly if they are.

    Underneath a surface are hate jokes.

    "That Bitch thinks she's worthy."
    Some coworker threw
    My Drink In The Trash
    And now everyone shall be thirsty
    My memory is the finest
    I'll never get Alzheimer's
    The last word must be mine
    See the "FUCK YOU" in my smile
    See how life hands me lemons
    and I squirt them in peoples eyes
    Throw the napkins back at her
    since they didn't give me enough fries

    I'll wear a crown where ever we go
        Even if I don't get my way
      I'll be petty that entire day
    "Since this bitch is watching my page"
        I smile when someone else
           goes off on her in rage
       Stirring it up to make my day
        Just sprinkling bitchy dust

    I was wrong in that argument between us 
    But it was too late to stop so I proceeded.
          Granted a scholarship to Hell.

    Been Pro Petty from the get go
    "If he keeps pulling off
    my side of the bed covers
    I swear I'm throwing 
    those shits out the window
    and will refrain from
    poking my booty on his back."

       I'm the Petty Champ
    From Clamp God Stock
    Blocked. Blocked. Blocked.
    I don't like that opinion on him
         He can get blocked.

                  Why hoe?
                For spite. Yes.
                For malice. Yes.
                For revenge. Yes.
                For boredom. Yes.
                For profitable gain. Yes.

           And never too tired to be
           Because throwing shade 
           is second language
           and I slash spare tires too B
           I'm not catching feelings
           I'm catching flu like symptoms
           getting sick of parasites.

    Write me an apology letter
    So I can grade it and send it back
    My neighbors are being assholes
    So I've decided to vacuum the ceiling

    "He asked for my number gurl
        so I gave it."
                              1-800-I'M-PETTY ASF
                      "Nope. I can't."
         Unfollow. Unfollow. Unfollow.
    Huffing and puffing coupon clipper
        Like the rigid Instagram model
        and angry internet men coddled
       Confessions of dissent worshippers
                     I know it's mean
           But I'm still pressing 'Send'
          "What the hell is he wearing?"         
         Unfriend. Unfriend. Unfriend.
        Not with regret, just with grins.

                 Being less self aware
       In the irrational world, fenced in.
             In reaching peak pettiness

                      America wins.

    Submitted on 2020-08-19 21:59:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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