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    dots Submission Name: between you and medots

    Author: cornonthekob
    Elite Ratio:    6.17 - 672/498/459
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 48
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1221


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    dotsbetween you and medots

    how could i live a life with so many lies
    like how could a lie lift up so many lives
    i chew it up a million times
    but i can't swallow as i wallow in my mind

    keep it neat and be discrete
    i'll act it out to stop the voices
    wouldn't it be tender wouldn't it be sweet
    if in the panic you could make choices

    take the moment all aesthetic
    something good is bound to show
    another strangers thoughts
    and no one has to know.

    i know between what i see and what i feel
    but i tend to imagine, it's better when it's real
    but i can't work it out
    enough to truly put it down

    i would tell you that i know
    but my own importance alludes me
    these delusions stack for days
    and replace the boring memories

    i whisper with my voice
    the opposite of what i'm screaming inside
    hoping there's something to be said for opposites
    and chemicals that nullify

    you don't have to see
    through a lens of fractured reality
    unless you are normal
    like a regular human being

    Submitted on 2020-10-01 20:55:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It might just be me, but I had a little trouble reading through this without having to go back and find a smoother route. It's just a little choppy which makes the reading a bit troublesome. Considered further, perhaps that is deliberate as the message itself is troublesome or about a troubled relationship. It is as if the speaker/writer is kind of choking and or sobbing through this, being very emotional and distraught. Unfortunately, my personal mental walls and filters tend to block or at least try to block the pain that others emote. It's not that I'm a cold bastard, it's just that I don't deal with pain very well whether it's myself or others. Some people can identify quite well with a poem like this but do they comment? Perhaps no because they do not wish to risk causing any more pain by commenting. I recognize cornonthecob as having been quite productive here on this poetry site for a very long time. You are owed comments even if they might be off base because that is what this site is supposed to be good for. To me this kind of poem makes me worry if the author is really working through some pain or simply being creative, or both. Anyway, it is a rainy day and thus the poem is fitting incidence wise. Thanks!
    | Posted on 2020-10-09 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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