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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Those Eyes


Author: krs3332003
Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 146 /116 /67
Words: 127
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 117
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 943



Description:

Our eyes truly are the windows to our soul...


Those Eyes


To see
and be seen
From your eyes
From my eyes

Is it a mirror?
Reflections
of our soul
The internal fire

Visions are seldom so true
Is this what you see?
Droplets of rain
across your window

Chasing each other
until they slow
Connecting at times
Apart then together

Mystified
Captivated
Words to be heard
with only our sight

Distant glances
seem so far away
Let me see
those eyes

Be it forever
in only a moment
Magically shared
with just a blink

Beauty without end
Timelessly blue
Let me dream
and awake to you

Such is what I sense
in your eyes
An enchanted song
Will you dance with me?

CR 2022 Kelly R. Sullivan




Submitted on 2022-08-28 10:52:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Beauty without end
Timelessly blue
Let me dream
And awake to you.

My favorite part. I mean overall, good shit. For sure, enjoyed it.

Critique:

Mystified
Captivated

I was taught to earn these words in poetry. Don’t tell me you are mystified, convince me with your words. Don’t tell me you are captivated, captivate me.

Meh. I’m ancient. Good write. I enjoyed readying it. That’s the big thing. You have talent. Keep it up.
| Posted on 2022-10-05 00:00:00 | by leftof_red | [ Reply to This ]
  Images and that captured eye to eye certainly involves a lot more than casual thought can provide. I think the best thing to call it is magic, as done here. The "dance with me?" question also goes to the figurative as well as literal usage. This all becomes thought provoking to think that seemingly simple things can in truth be ultimately complex.

A worthy pause, thanks!

Lloyd

| Posted on 2022-09-16 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


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