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READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
"Sometimes I think you're an old man
in a young man's body. Fit for adventure."
"America is your idea of adventure?"
C'mon. You never wanted to see the Grand Canyon?
Las Vegas? Sachs Fifth Avenue?"
"I'm black bro. I'm always out of place."
"You like weed right? Follow me."
"There's too many fat fuckers in this country."
"How do you expect to get hired
when you're being absolutely negative?"
"Recognizing obesity is not negative.
It's realizing a problem within several countries.
Besides, overweight women in HR
seem to be there by design don't you think?"
"Perhaps. Take it easy on yourself today.
It's like ninety degrees outside
and people get stupid with firecrackers."
"I'll try. This country is still going to Hell."
"She's not gonna cure your philophobia."
"Of course not.
That's why I'm suggesting
another option for her. I'm such a realist."
"You mean a case study."
"We're going to California.
What's the worse that can happen?"
"WHAT A COMPLETE BITCH!"
"What are you?
A George Bush minion.
You fuckin' dipthong."
"Look at this motherfucker.
If Balls Deep was a person.
Taking every gym shower he could get."
She's bending over too extra.
And as soon as I go for grabs
I'm gonna get called a pervert."
"But you are a pervert."
"Not enough to go to jail."
Different kind of perverts there huh?"
"Fuck your own ass.
You're not gonna do shit
except for find another alternative.
Put her on the bullshit wagon
and hit two different licks."
"Why do you find that so bad?"
"Because.. It's the prick in you.
I know this. We're partners."
"I'm so high I forgot what year it is."
"It's 1992 and Stacy Dash is a goddess."
"Goddess my ass.
Ego boost of the ages."
"If you were a high priest, you could manifest magic.
It wouldn't be all that hard."
"Okay Slick. Here's some magic.
Look in the mirror. TA DAAA!"
"Told you he was a New Age charlatan.
Where the fuck did you meet this weirdo?"
"I will NEVER. EVER!
Get over how much I despise humanity."
"Oh God. Here we go with this shit again.."
"Think about somebody in a shithole
besides your gotdamn self.
Besides, we can donate
a few bottles to the homeless downtown.
Bitch, you're gonna steal the shit anyway.
So why be all moral now?
Get the fuck outta here.
You rather starve than steal grapes?"
"No. I rather be at home right now
watching evil Susan ruin ScrewTube..
You're taking the whole order?"
"Yep. Energy of a bootlegger.
Stop being a pussy. It's America.
Everything's corrupt. Give me a hand here."
"I'm fed up with this world.
Primarily from having no place in it."
"You're an asshole..
You sit here and play this
little nihilistic game with yourself.
Date these ugly ass girls,
like some secretive gay Republican,
and never raise your standards.
Get your shit in gear kid.
This is America.
Damnit, I need a drink.
You Millennials are a pain in the ass."
"You think they put a tracker on my car?"
"Who would go through all that
to find a raggedy Toyota?
Dude. Are you living in here?"
"Of course not. I'm an exhibitionist."
"You smile as if you've had your lips
on Angela Rye's pussy last night.
What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"Nah. I never liked CNN."
"But you clapped some cheeks right?"
"Shut the fuck up and drive."
What will it be tonight?"
"We can start off with your tits."
"What? You said take chances...
Okay, shit. I'll start with something red."
"Your friend is a real monster."
"He's is a little anxious today."
"She's got a high body count;
Her parents don't know
she's out here like this.
And you probably shouldn't be
dropping it off in her ass.
What is wrong with you?
Seriously. We have twelve hours left.
In case you haven't noticed-
We're stuck around shady Mexicans
with no way to get Midwest.
You're a stink star. Y'know that?"
"Chill out asshole.
You've been corrupted
since the glory days of 4chan."
"And what is this garbage of creation?"
"It's a nice vaginal outline
you little shit you.
I call it, "A God pocket"
Something for the dirtbags."
"It's looks like you've been painting
kiwis while sauced on Casamigos.
There's not gonna be any buyers for this shit."
"You know what. Fuck you!
I dont care if you don't like it.
I make a decent artist. You scrawny fuck."
"I'm a better opportunist than you."
"That's not true. You learn from me.
You start up entrepreneurs are all the same.
Couple more shots of everclear
and I'll take on all you capitalist losers.
What the fuck are those?
"Sombreros. We're gonna need them
for an emergency. I got a hunch."
"Somebody's gotta motor over reptiles."
"When you piss a quiet person off.
You won't know it.
Loud people explode quickly."
"I'm telling you man.. They let shit build up."
"Psychopaths hold in a lot of shit.
Look. There she is. Fentanyl bitch."
"I can't wait!
To fucking get back home."