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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hark! To The Ramparts! Pt 1dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ACircuitShock
    ASL Info:    18/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 221/243/40
    Words: 376
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 996
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2328



    Description:
       READ THIS FIRST!!!!!!
    Okay, now that I have your attention... This poem is an experiment. I had the idea to try to tell a story in a series of poems. Hey, if the bards of the past did it in songs I can try right? This poem by itself may not make much sense or seem finished. Think of it like a chapter in a book so to speak, alone it seems incomplete, but when you read it with the book it all works into a cohesive whole. The next part will come soon, I still have to finish writing it! Anyways, tell me what you think and any suggestions or tips would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHark! To The Ramparts! Pt 1dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do you hear the walls crumbling
    And the parapets smashing to the earth?
    It is the flesh of my brothers,
    It is their blood
    That stains the very soil I walk upon.

    Aye, the moon is high
    As I shed my crimson clothing,
    But I fear
    That a layer of filth
    Shall forever stay upon my back.

    If only I could shed this skin
    As easily as I shed this cloth,
    If only the blood would wash away
    Much like this water to my trembling lips.
    Then maybe I would not spend
    Every waking moment of my life
    Knowing that upon these hands
    Blood has been split,
    Knowing that upon these hands
    The stains shall never fully fade.

    And as I rest my decrepit body
    On these cold stone steps,
    And even as the slow sunrise
    Catches these shattered
    Stained glass windowpanes
    In a motion as grand
    As any god could have conjured,
    All I see is darkness.
    All I hear are the cries of the dead
    Whispering things better left unsaid
    In this fragile land of the living.

    Does she realize what she has done?
    Does she realize all she has caused?
    Does she realize what she has broken?

    So now, my brothers,
    I tell you a story.
    Do not doubt it for its truth.
    There is no point in lies
    For only the weak can tell them,
    And this truth is much stranger
    Than any fiction that man could create.

    But first, my brothers,
    Let me leave no doubt in your minds
    Of the character of this lady.
    For this story concerns her
    And the world as we know it.

    Of course thatís the way
    She always wanted it to be.

    A kingdom fell for her,
    Men died for her,
    The saints loathed her,
    And evil worshipped her.

    And I?
    Well, I lived for her.

    But let me assure you my friends,
    That this point I cannot stress
    Any more than I already have.
    And I tell you my friends
    That if you remember anything at all
    From this tale I tell tonight,
    Just please remember this:

    The woman is a beast.




    Submitted on 2004-08-08 01:27:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Perfect idea! I really do think that this will work well for you. Although you left me wanting more... this made complete sense in itself (to me, at least). Actually, it made me think a lot of the story of Troy (Helen's choices caused wars and death...) A correction, however:
    1st paragraph: (1st line) Do "you" hear... You have incredible skill in making every line beautiful and interesting. Not once did you lose my attention and I cannot wait to read the next piece! XOXO dandan

    | Posted on 2004-08-14 00:00:00 | by Dandan | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that's awesome! I love reading stories in poem form. I can't wait to read more. If you haven't read them, you might want to check out "Beowulf", and "Inferno". If you've never heard of them, they are two classic stories written in a poem. They may help, they may not, just a suggestion. Anyway, loved the write!
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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